WHAT WE DO & WHY WE DO IT

MEASURE YOUR TOXICITY

These days, with the power of media in our daily lives, I am sure the majority of people are familiar with toxicity in our drinking water, air, environment, and the food we eat daily. Most of the food we eat is processed food, with added chemicals and preservatives. Medical reports and responsible health care providers warn us about food and substances with potential toxicity to our bodies. Some individuals, and companies, with the intention to make huge profits, often using deceptive marketing techniques, encourage the public to buy different pills, drinks, and other substances to lose weight, lower cholesterol, look younger, and live longer. Contrary to medical research, mass-produced, quick-fix solutions, and services are the accepted norms. Therefore, knowingly, we add toxicity to our bodies and create difficulties for our internal organs, instead of helping them to operate naturally.

Living a healthy life should not be as complicated as it is. Lack of clarity and failing to prioritize the important aspects of our lives, are creating unsafe living conditions for us, and our children. Why? It does not have to be this way. Don’t you think we are able to do better than this?

Let’s focus on some of these toxicities in our daily lives, from personal, emotional, environmental, and political, just to name a few.

One of the most important problems our planet is facing is greenhouse gases: a dangerous pollutant. December 2009 is marked with historical UN convention on climate change in Copenhagen. Some 192-nations met, to come up with a universal plan to tackle climate change. The question is why we, in western society, who care so much about human life, nature, health, and living with joy and happiness, have ignored this significant problem for so many years?

Scientists have been talking about global warming and environmental catastrophe for years. Why do not our politicians and religious leaders, as powerful forces, and supporters of public health, morality, and freedom, do anything significant about it? What are their motives, that they knowingly put themselves, the next generation, and our children in a very dangerous situation?

Leaving the environment toxic is as bad as making Atomic bombs, and other weapons of mass destruction. They are all toxic and destructive to life and human society. Don't you think it is selfish and irresponsible, that under the name of "economic growth" some companies and their share holders continue to profit from creating future environmental disasters?

The decision to continue building weapons of mass destruction, and polluting the environment is influenced by our fear, our sense of insecurity, our lack of trust, and our vision of our leadership with Big "EGO." The point of the matter is that these are examples of toxic thinking and toxic perception. It is contrary to our religious beliefs, our morals, and our values, which we talk about every day.

Yes, we know that we have to be realistic and "it is the way it is." But, this is an out-dated mentality. For example, there was a time, in our recent past, that racism, sexism, and violations of people’s basic human rights—because of their race, gender or other differences—was acceptable to a large segment of our society. Those views are no longer acceptable today, because they were rooted in our fear, our insecurity, and our selfishness at that time in our history. Finally, society reached the obvious conclusion that we are not able to eliminate a group of people. As a result, we cleaned our consciousnesses and removed those obstacles for closeness and unity.

Unfortunately, with all our intellectual advancements, we still witness violations of basic human rights, using force to suppress protests, expressions of opinion, and political ideas, in most countries around the world: most of the time, in the name of God and national security. In reality, leaders are protecting their own, limited, group interests and selfish political ambitions. This is another example of serious toxic thinking.

TOXIC EMOTIONS AND THINKING

By moving from the surface, to a deeper level, we are able to track down the roots of our toxic personal, social, and political behaviors. It all starts right from the minute of our births.

Before birth, nature gave human beings the amazing gift of a magical body and brain. Let’s say, if an individual is born without any physical or cognitive disorder, that individual has the potential and intelligence to capture and achieve the highest level of success. We are born with these infinite possibilities and unlimited options.

From birth, based on our family background—including social background, cultural background, and financial background— we gradually build our levels of toxicity. Parents, or guardians, especially mothers have the most influence on children’s perceptions, and views. The child will hear and observe the mother’s happiness, sadness, stress, emotional high/low, behaviors. From the early days of life, the child will learn to please and respond to parent’s demands and ways of thinking. Children slowly understand that in order to survive, they must keep their parents happy and get their approval. Children start to view world from their parents, teacher’s, and coach's points of view.

During this process, "EGO" is beginning to form. As a result, we grow up under the influences of social-cultural environment. If these sets of norms, values, belief systems have toxic elements, such as narrow vision, judgmental and ideological views, we have the potential to carry similar toxic views during our adult life.

In addition to influences of social-family environment, imagine if we are exposed to other toxic elements during our upbringing period. Being exposed to physical abuse, verbal abuse, sexual abuse, addiction in the family, poverty, mental and emotional disorders, will contribute to our levels of toxicity. The side effects of these different kinds of instability and uncertainty will continue for many years. When a person has to live under fear of physical violence or the lack of love and affection needed to build compassion and empathy, that person has a higher chance of insecurity and toxic emotion.

For example, a couple who both were separated from their parents at an early age, are experiencing anxiety, fear, loneliness, and difficulties with trusting people. The wife was raised by her father, from age 5. She had difficulties overcoming the resentment toward her mother’s leaving her at an early age. The husband was sent overseas, to attend private school, at age 14. Both are intelligent, but with low emotional intelligence and maturity. They are overly sensitive; easily get hurt by each other, and other people. The “silent treatment” is their main weapon to protect themselves from others. The husband is successful in his business and spends most of his time working. The wife is feeling disconnected, lonely, and feels as a victim. They are not even enjoying their wealth. Their children also are in therapy for emotional difficulties.

Anger, resentment, jealousy, a need to control, sadness, anxiety, some level of depression, being revengeful, and violent tendencies are all examples of toxic emotions that we may feel and experience.

Things get worse when an individual knowingly continues the past levels of toxic beliefs and uses false rationalizations to justify that behavior. This rationalization is the way fundamentalism and ideological reasoning, in our political and religious beliefs find room to play a role.

In daily life, we witness this false justification of wrong action and thinking, in family, martial, business, and political settings. These individuals make a decision to use their toxicities for their personal gains, without regard for other people. Another dominate approach is “victim thinking.” It becomes convenient to blame family, parents, financial situations, and government for our failures. We forget to take a share of personal responsibility for the direction of our daily lives.

DETOXIFICATION

It is an obvious fact that we all have different degrees of toxicity. Some people have lower levels of it; some have higher levels of toxic emotion and thinking.

The good news is that we are capable of recognizing our toxicity and beginning the detoxification process in early adult life. It requires self awareness, motivation to change, being receptive to coaching, new ways of thinking, and taking action on a daily basis.

The first step is to be honest and take a hard look at our personality characteristics, values, beliefs, and behaviors. The second step is creating a plan of action, with clarity and consistency. The last step is to come out of “victim” thinking and take personal responsibility. As always, the ultimate tool for getting through this journey is taking action. The outcome is predictable. Peace and unity from within, and freedom of thinking in our personal, social, and political relationships.

It is your choice and your decision, to clean the past toxicity, and avoid building new toxic beliefs. It is an ongoing process. It needs ongoing action and self awareness.

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